Luke {One}

My Sweet Luke, 

You are one.  

I could not love you any more if I tried.  My heart bursts on a daily basis as you explore your world, laugh with your sister and snuggle into me before setting off to explore some more.  Grandma and Grandpa said it perfectly: Luke, you have sailed away with our hearts!

I have struggled a little this month as I reflected on the past year: did I savor it enough? did I let myself get too caught up in trying to get more sleep or get you on a nap schedule or my feeling worn out as I navigated meeting the different needs of two kids?  Regret doesn't sit well with me.  So I've turned my heart to the immense gratitude I feel for all of it - the hard nights, the tears while learning to nurse you, the lazy mornings, the blissful smiles, the naps in the carrier ('cause they weren't happening in your crib!), the non-stop crying in your carseat (remember those days?), the stars in your eyes when you look at Vivian - all of it adds up to a year of you.  It has, in fact, been a year I have loved living.

A mom in line at the Gap the other day gave a fussy you her car keys to play with as I sadly answered her that you were almost one.  She understood my sadness that it goes so quickly, but reminded me that it just keeps getting better.

 Some things I want to remember about you this month:

You always go straight for the box of instruments in Viv's room.

I love how I can hear the crunch of your cheerios as you bite each one in half.

Where's Luke?  Peek-a-boo! 

 You love being in the backyard and make a beeline for the sliding door whenever you hear it open.

On Easter you might have said your first word.  (Maybe.)  Auntie Sarah and Tio Tato brought their dog Benji and you signed something that looked like "dog" and said something that sounded like "do-dee". 

You like to "snuggle" Vivian's dolls and books by putting them under your belly and lying on top of them with a big ol' happy smile on your face.

You laugh and laugh when I blow puffs of air on your hair.

You stand on your own and you've taken independent steps to Daddy, but your clear preference right now is crawling and cruising.  You won't touch walking with me!

You still wake up once in the early morning for a quick feed and then go back to sleep until 7 or 7:30.

You gave your first (and so far, only) kiss to Ruby, one of the sweetest kiddos I know.  

 We celebrated your birthday for two days.  It's a leap year, you know!

We went to Oakland to celebrate 365 days of Luke.  This was one of my sentimental requests - Vince and I spent an evening in Oakland two nights before you were born at a Mumford and Sons show and then had an almost midnight ice cream snack at Fenton's.  So we went to Lake Merritt (where you threw up but we stuck it out) in the sunshine before heading to Fenton's for lunch and your first ice cream.

 On your birthday-day we hung out in the backyard

 made fun toy messes

 displayed the sailboat that started all my nautical-nuttiness

 enjoyed cake time

 watched you finally get into it

eventually taste it

and at 7:10 PM I snuck in to peek on my boy, whisper my gratitude that you were born and celebrate all that makes you, YOU.

xo

Mama