Perspective

Perspective is on my mind a lot these days.

I think about how we all have one. I think about how it influences how we see, experience and interact with the world and each other. I think about how perspective is fluid. It changes and shifts - sometimes on a dime, sometimes gradually. But it still influences everything.

In the last 19 months, people have said to me "I don't know how you do it" (You would do the same) or "You're so strong" (I promise you, I'm not), implying that they somehow couldn't handle the hospital or therapies or doctor appointments or hearing aid boot camp. When people say these things to me, I get it. It's the nature of perspective, right? - we can't really imagine it until we're in it. Before this part of my life, I might have been one of those friends, wondering how she did it and thinking I couldn't ever. Thankful, in a way, that it wasn't me.

I think it's human nature to look at someone else's tough stretch of road and heartache - and to comfort and support them however you can - but then to turn to your own life, a little extra thankful for your healthy kids or your wonderful spouse or your job or whatever. Again, that's the nature of perspective. You hug your mom a little tighter after a friend has lost hers. You savor a little moment a bit more in honor of someone who can't. You run a little harder, aware that a working, healthy body is a blessing.

But this is the thing that I don't think I really understood until the past year: Yes, we all want things to go well, to happen the "right" way, to be easy and not hard. It's so easy to take it for granted when things go "right" and are relatively "easy". But when things don't go well or don't happen the way you thought they might; when life gets sticky and messy and doesn't resemble what you thought it would be, you deal with it. You cope and grieve and you deal with it because that's all you know in that moment. Your perspective shifts. Others might think I don't know how she does it but you know - you just do. Because you have to.

And then there's the other side, where your new perspective reveals itself. And beyond dealing with it because you have to, you might see the big picture: lessons learned, joyful joys tempered by deep sadness, connections made and treasured. And with that new perspective you continue to walk through life - it is the new lens through which you now see and experience everything. You might find yourself thankful for that new perspective, even if it was painful to get there.

She said, "Look up, once in a while."
She said, "Remember things that always remain;
blossoms in the Spring, birds remember to sing
and you will do the same."
Buildings hurtle by the train as you ride.
You don't know where, you don't know why.
All you can do is dry your eyes, cry like a little child.
Sometimes it takes a while to be born.

from the song "Sincerely" on the album "A Bird Flies Out" by Deb Talan of The Weepies (of course)