Lessons From the Hospital

At the entrance to the ICU

+ This place is filled with good people. I get to make a new friend every day in the nurse who is assigned to take care of Vivian. Over the course of her twelve hour shift, light and sweet, intimate and personal details are shared between us. I didn't realize I was missing this day-to-day human connection so much.

+ This is a healing place. While anticipating Vivian's surgery, I would have fleeting visions of myself in anguish and distress at my daughter's hospital bedside. I would imagine myself going home each night to madly clean floors, scrub countertops and organize the garage, unable to sleep or relax or sit still. Instead, I find peace at her bedside. I go home and sink into our familiar bed. Sleep comes fast and easy. As Vivian heals, I heal.

+ This is a casual place (when it's appropriate to be casual, that is). I appreciate it when a doctor introduces him or herself by first name (except for the rockstar surgeon, but with him, it just wouldn't have felt right to call him "Frank" even if he had introduced himself as such). The anesthesiologist whom I adore introduced himself as "Jumbo," the CVICU doctor is Emily, and the rockstar surgeon's fellow is Sunil--all this endears me to these people so much more. I feel more comfortable when I'm on a first name basis with people. (Even as a teacher, my preference would always be to be called Hannah, though most administrators didn't agree that was acceptable. Phooey.)

+This is a reflective place. I'm allowing myself to think more than I have in four months' time. I think about Vivian's future with hope and excitement. I think about how blessed we are. I think, think, think and think some more, and it feels safe to do that here. I never would have guessed that would be the case.

+ This is a fashionable place. I have developed an affinity for scrubs. They are more flattering than you'd think. The light blue (not electric blue) are my favorite. A long sleeved t-shirt under the top makes for a nice look. I do not approve of holiday themes or puppy prints on scrub tops. But I don't hold it against a person who is trying to be festive or snazzy--it's just not me.