Dear Vivian {Month Two}

Dearest Vivian,

It couldn't be any more trite than to say "Where has the time gone?", but I shake my head in disbelief at least once a day. It's October already! The leaves are changing! It's getting cold! Where, oh where, has the time gone?


I've known you for two months now. Those early days of having you home seem like another lifetime. I look at you now, and you seem like a completely new person. You've gained three pounds, and you've got the chubby cheeks, arms and legs to prove it. Daddy calls you "Chubs." Your eyelashes have grown and darkened. Your once baggy preemie clothes are getting difficult to squeeze your arms and belly in.

Gone are the days of just sleeping and eating. You're in an alert, quiet phase far more often these days. You calmly look around you, taking it all in. You make eye contact with me, and the beauty of that connection pulls at my heartstrings. Just the other day I learned that if I touch your chin and your lips in just the right way, a smile may appear. The first time this happened, I shrieked with delight and excitement. You'll soon learn that I can be quite a shrieker when genuinely enthusiastic about something.


Lately, after I feed you at five or six o'clock in the morning, I bring you to bed with daddy and me. I lay you cozily swaddled between us. So, as night turns into day, you are between the two people who love you most in the world. You are so peaceful between us, breathing rhythmically and quietly as the sun creeps in. I doze lightly, but my favorite thing is to watch you wake up. Your little mouth does the sweetest things: you alternately purse your lips, stretch them out, wiggle your tongue and SMILE! Oh, this mama is happy when you smile.


It's been a month with lots of joyful moments, but many sad and worry-filled moments, too. You've caught more of my tears than I would like. My dad, your grandpa, has been keeping us company a lot. Your new favorite place to be is grandpa's shoulder, and it's clear that the feeling is mutual. Your grandpa absolutely adores you. The really special thing about seeing my dad with you is that I understand more about how much my dad loves me. It's like being able to glimpse into the past, when I was small enough to be cuddled up on his shoulder. It's a lovely thing, and I treasure the time we share together.


You and I love weekends and evenings best because that's when your dad is home. And it's not just the extra pair of hands we appreciate, it's the fact that life is just more fun, it's lighter somehow, when dad is around. Vince just makes everything better. Food tastes more delicious, the couch is more comfortable, air is fresher, even Seinfeld reruns are funnier when your dad is at home. You, my dear, sweet Vivian, made us a family. A lovely little unit that grows stronger and more beautiful each day you're a part of it.

Loads and buckets and gallons of love,
Mom