Dear Vivian {Month 11}

Dearest Buggles (that's the latest variation of "Bug" and "Baby Bug"),

11 months old - a chocolate cupcake with sprinkles on top

Happy 11 months. I have to admit, I'm a little melancholy writing this letter. While I celebrate everything you are 11 months after your birth (and boy, do I), there's this rather large part of me that is counting down to your first birthday, and I am wondering: Have I lived in my skin enough during these 11 months of being your mom? Am I treasuring and memorizing and soaking in our moments enough? I'm doing the best I can - I guess it's the ultimate paradox - it's my job as your mom to help you blossom into a happy, compassionate, well-adjusted grown up, but on a daily basis I want to stop time and just sit in it a little longer with you.

Sigh.

Touching those yummy toes

You, my chica lica, are a busy bee. You are becoming quite nimble in your day to day play. It's fun to watch. You grab your toes and roll from side to side; you grab your toes and kiss them, too! It's lovely - and, I agree, your toes are delicious!

Sitting!

Feeding your sweet self

Speaking of delicious, you are so not interested in solid food anymore. We still try, but you only like to grab the spoon and chew on it. Preferably with no food on it. Oh, well. On the flip side, you have started holding your bottle and feeding yourself. That is a riot. When I break out the camera to capture this on film, you smile and milk dribbles out of your mouth. My little ham. So, I'm thinking you are going to enjoy solid food more when you can feed it to yourself - but I haven't braved cheerios yet. Maybe this weekend.

4th of July - longest tummy time to date!

On the 4th of July you had your longest bout of tummy time yet - 10 minutes - with the help of some Baby Einstein or Baby Beethoven or some such thing. I knew you had it in you to do it. You just had to be properly inspired - and I promise I don't take offense that all of my shenanigans (singing, reading, dancing, silly faces) evidently don't hold a candle to Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 and gently moving Disney video.

With Auntie Dr. Heather and Auntie Michele - they've known me since I was smaller than you!

You, my Vivian, continue to delight in the world and the people around you. We had dinner with my two oldest friends - as in, hung out when we were babes in diapers friends - and I am so happy we got to all be together. I think and hope some of the friends you have now will be this kind of friend. It's a happy thought.

Birthday picnic in the backyard

Tonight for your birthday dinner we enjoyed a backyard picnic on the quilt I made with my mom and grandma Vivian before I left for college. We talked about our days, enjoyed pasta salad and listened to the Counting Crows. To me, it was the perfect family evening. It is the kind I hope to duplicate over and over again as you continue to grow.

We have been enjoying the lazy, hazy and HOT days of summer. We planted a garden last week and we have been watering each late afternoon when the backyard gets cool and shady. We've got brussels sprouts, tomatoes, sweet peas and sunflowers sprouting! As I water, you hang out in the baby carrier and I sing "Everything Grows" to you. Every student I taught learned this song because I love it. It has the ability to make me happy no matter how sour my mood. Everything grows and grows. / Babies do, animals, too. / Everything grows.

Baby loves her books!

Which leads me back to how I began this letter. You are growing up so beautifully, Vivian. And, like the song says, everything grows. A blade of grass. / Fingers and toes. / Hair on my
head. / A red, red rose. I am growing, too. Growing and blossoming as I never really anticipated I would. I can feel my heart and my mind stretching and reaching and swelling as we continue on our way. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I love you, I love you, I love you. With rainbow sprinkles on top.
Mama