This weekend we went up north for a mini getaway. We were having a great time - great food, swimming with Viv, a BBQ for my sister's birthday.
On our way back to the hotel Saturday night, a car sped through a stop sign and plowed into us at 40-50 mph. I was driving. The image of that car speeding into mine, the one that held my baby, the sound of the metal crashing and twisting - I can't get that out of my mind. The four people in the car that hit us all fled and no one will admit to being the driver. Our car will probably be turned into parts and scrap metal - it's totaled. But we're all okay, and that is the bottom line.
I am shaken. Weary and tired and mystified.
On our way back to the hotel Saturday night, a car sped through a stop sign and plowed into us at 40-50 mph. I was driving. The image of that car speeding into mine, the one that held my baby, the sound of the metal crashing and twisting - I can't get that out of my mind. The four people in the car that hit us all fled and no one will admit to being the driver. Our car will probably be turned into parts and scrap metal - it's totaled. But we're all okay, and that is the bottom line.
I am shaken. Weary and tired and mystified.
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Since Vivian's birth, I have had spontaneous little chats with God, or the Universe, or whatever name you'd like to use. On Saturday morning I was in the elevator at the hotel - Viv and I had just enjoyed cereal and coffee in the atrium while Vince slept - and I whispered God, please help me to focus on the good things in my life. I just need a little help right now. I've just been in a bit of a funk all week. And I felt peace like I usually do when I have these chats with God. Our talks happen in places like hotel elevators or the bathroom or while huffing and puffing around the track. They happen in my brain before I realize it.
Twelve hours later I held my baby so, so tight saying Thank you, thank you, thank you, God. Oh, dear God, thank you. My heart pounding, my body shaking, a small wave of that peace and calm knowing my baby was okay.
Twelve hours later I held my baby so, so tight saying Thank you, thank you, thank you, God. Oh, dear God, thank you. My heart pounding, my body shaking, a small wave of that peace and calm knowing my baby was okay.
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Since Vivian was born I think about Why? a lot. Not a whiney Why me? (because Why not me?), but Why? in the sense that I want to understand, and I want to make sure I'm learning and thinking and staying open to what life throws my way.
On Saturday night I found myself telling Vince that I just don't understand why this happened. Don't we have enough on our plate? Haven't we had enough lessons in the past nine months about the preciousness of life? But Vince didn't think there was necessarily a lesson to glean from this. Because sometimes things just happen. Random, icky things. And he's right.
So, it's all about the bottom line, which is that we're safe and sound. It's all about how I react to another unexpected curve. We hold each other a little tighter, say extra an I love you and then say it again and know, more than ever, that we are each other's most precious assets. Nothing else matters.
On Saturday night I found myself telling Vince that I just don't understand why this happened. Don't we have enough on our plate? Haven't we had enough lessons in the past nine months about the preciousness of life? But Vince didn't think there was necessarily a lesson to glean from this. Because sometimes things just happen. Random, icky things. And he's right.
So, it's all about the bottom line, which is that we're safe and sound. It's all about how I react to another unexpected curve. We hold each other a little tighter, say extra an I love you and then say it again and know, more than ever, that we are each other's most precious assets. Nothing else matters.
10 comments:
i'm so sorry to hear you've been in a car accident. and so happy to know you're all well. wow!
I don't know why certain things happen... but sometimes we are in the wrong place at the wrong time... today on my way to work, in one of those quiet streets somebody was getting out of the driveway really fast and he/she almost hit my SUV... why? I don't know... but as I said before I almost was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
We are so glad the 3 of you are OK.
Love!
So glad you are all ok. Sending hugs.
Gosh, so sorry to hear that, Hannah - that must be so unsettling. Thank goodness you are all physically safe. The rest is just plain frustrating and scary. Hope the rattled feeling eases away this week.
There is not answer to why this happened. I am just glad you 3 are all OK. You are so right; nothing else matters.
I love this poem:
I carry you with me into the world,
into the smell of rain
& the words that dance between people
& for me, it will always be this way,
walking in the light,
remembering being alive together
h+v+v:
glad you are okay and I am sorry you had to go through this. that sucks. it seems so unreal... haven't you been through enough.
You are amazing and strong and lovely.
xo,g
Oh Hannah, how scary! I am so glad you are all okay!
OMG! We are just all so thankful you three are ok! It will take a while to stop reliving that moment, but it will get easier 9or less frequent). I am also sorry for the hassle that these things create (dealing with insurance, replacment of possessions, etc.) and all I can say is that when you are dealing with these things just kiss that sweet baby and your adoring husband and remind yourself that you are all ok! GIANT HUGS!
Yeah! I am glad you are okay too. That must have been terrifying!
hannah, i can't believe - how are your necks and bodies? oh, my dear friend, i'm so glad you are okay.
and i'm glad you keep asking why...i think it helps us find our way through the maze...the answers sometimes feel so illusive...i know i keep thinking, what am i to learn from this...usually i don't see the answer, but sometimes i do.
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