Let's Hug It Out

I adore Viv's profile shadow in this photo. Reminds me of those silhouettes we made in kindergarten.

Vivian's been sick for a week with a cold. She's coughing and snotting and sneezing. Poor little bug. Trooper that she is, her spirits are high. She's still sleeping like a champ (oh, bless you, sweet little babe, for being such a content sleeper). But she's not eating. Well, she's eating, but not nearly enough to continue on her chubby way.

And it's stressing this mama out.

In the weeks before the cold, she wasn't eating so well either. She was arching her back and crying and clearly getting no pleasure out of being nourished. Hmph. We thought it was the super-high calorie formula we left the hospital feeding her. It would be like us drinking half and half or cream instead of lowfat milk (my stomach turns at the thought). But the doctor thinks it might be a bit of reflux. So, she's been on reflux meds, but just as we were starting to turn a corner with that, the cold hit. And now she's not arching her back in pain, but she's coughing and then coughing some more. Which makes it hard to feed, you know? Arg.

I have kept copious notes on Vivian's feedings since she came home at 2 weeks old. I've just been so focused on getting her as big and strong as possible for surgery, and to catch up from being so small. But now that's she's not eating sufficiently, and there are all these variables to contend with (possible reflux, tummy troubles from high calorie formula, cold, among others) it's just quite dizzying. I want a black and white answer in this sea of gray. And I know I'm not going to get one. I long for Vivian to be a voracious eater. You know, like her parents.

So, in the mean time, I will follow the instructions on Viv's shirt. We'll hug it out*. 'Cause when baby won't eat, at least she'll still cuddle.

*The ever so enjoyable words of the deviously lovable Ari on Entourage, but according to the urban dictionary, Chandler on Friends was first to say it. Hmmm, interesting.