Dear Vivian {Month 6}

Dearest Sweetheart Vivian,

6 months old

Just a couple of days ago, we got our first taste of spring. After what felt like weeks of dreary, drippy days, the sun came out. Bright blue skies were complemented by chirping birds, particularly frisky squirrels, a graceful lone butterfly and a mama with a happy, happy heart. I always forget how much I miss sunshine until it returns. And then, like a switch, I've got a spring in my step and and positive vibe that I didn't even realize I was missing.

Two days ago we were walking to Safeway and as we got closer, we passed by some trees that made me stop in my tracks--while a week before these trees were skinny and leafless, they were now filled with dark red buds and a few pink blossoms. My heart soared! Each year I forget that February has this gift--a sampling of spring-like weather (where you'll hear me saying It's quite fresh out!) and the intoxicating sight of trees that will soon look like pink popcorn, before quickly changing again and filling in with leaves.


And just like these blossoming trees, you are blossoming, too, Vivian. Right before my very eyes. You are growing and changing in such beautiful ways. I don't know if it's just a flurry of development, or if I'm just more open to noticing these nuances of daily change now that the weight of surgery is behind us, but it's amazing to witness.

I would say this last month has been all about your hands. You're a girl who loves her playtime, but these days you're so purposeful with your play. Your eyes fixate on something you want to touch, and then your hand reaches out to grab, touch, explore. You'll bring it to your mouth or bring your other hand up to really get a good grip. I love watching you think as you do this exploring. It's magic.

Sweet, busy hands

You're working on getting stronger, too. You love to stand up while I support you. You look all around, taking it in. You've always loathed tummy time, but last week you were allowed to start up again since we were six weeks post-op from surgery. So you're working on strengthening your arms and neck and back. You're not happy about it, but I like to tell you how much I admire your stick-to-it-ive-ness. And we'll just take it as it comes. Savoring these moments with you is my number one priority these days. Because it all goes too fast.

Tolerating tummy time

You love to stand up

Another thing we like to do these days is hang out in the kitchen and cook dinner together. We turn on some fun music, I put on a sassy vintage apron (Hmmm, I should make one for you to wear...I'll get to work on that!) and we chat while I make dinner. I love to cook, you know, and it brings me a lot of joy to have the time and energy to do this for our family. Then your dad comes home saying, "How are my Sweeties?" and we eat dinner and talk about our days. Your dad loves hearing little anecdotes about the cute things you do, so I collect them throughout each day, like a squirrel collects acorns.

My two sweeties

Another new thing this month is that we're no longer livin' it up only here at the homestead. We're going grocery shopping, taking trips to the mall, hanging out at our favorite coffee shop--it is all so much fun with you! I bring a carafe of hot water so I can warm up your food in the car in between errands (you like your milk particularly warm), and we listen to the radio while I feed you. I was in Whole Foods with you the other day, just looking around, and while we were in the snack bar aisle, I asked you which bar sounded better: the mountain mix bar or the peanut butter pretzel? And this guy, in the otherwise empty aisle, looked at us with a very amused look on his face. He was probably thinking Ummmm, your baby's not old enough to tell you her opinion on your snack bar choices, honey.

But here's the thing about being your mom: I feel like I've always got a sweet little sidekick; a partner in crime, so to speak, and I just really enjoy that I get to talk to you about which snack bar is more appealing. You bring out the best in me, Vivian. I am the best version of myself when I am with you. Thank you for that.

Bringing out the best in me

So, my sweetness and light, we're halfway through our first year together. At this time last year, I was eating popsicles and saltines and seltzer water and forcing down bland cheese and crackers to make it through my teaching day. Meanwhile, you were miraculously growing in my belly. I didn't know then just how much I'd love you. Because, like everyone says, it's a love you can't explain until you experience it. I am so glad I get to experience loving you. My heart grows and swells with love for you--it's an exponential thing--and it's amazing.

With sweet blossoms of pink popcorn love,
Mom